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The Spiritual "Cold Shoulder"

Most of us have experienced it to one degree or another. It could be from a buddy, an old friend or a family member. You talk to them on the phone or see them in the grocery store or chat with them online. The response is cold and short. "See you at the gathering", "Where do you go to church now?", "Who do you fellowship with?", "What are you doing with the Word?", "I don't read anything on the Internet", "Where is THAT in the Word!?" are some of the signs of a freeze coming on fast. It hurts. Especially when coming from a friend or family member. You feel rejected. What have you done to desereve this treatment? In the pre-Internet era it was harder. I respect some of you who went through this back then. Some found themselves suddenly alone and isolated. They lost all contact with their friends, their lifestyle, their fellowship and in extreme cases their spouse or children. It was tough. It was hard to live through. Most learned a lot about themselves and ultimately became stronger and better as a result. Others took years to cope. Some still do. It hurt. Religion can be cruel when misused. This behavior is nothing new. It has been going on for thousands of years look no further than our own home grown religions in America for for examples. Still, it hurts when you are the recipient of the spiritual cold shoulder. What would Jesus do? I am not sure but I have a feeling he would hug you and welcome you to sit down with him for a while. He would show special interest in you and your family. He would say "See you later, bro!" "Facebook me, man," And when you walked away you would feel warm. You would in fact see him later. He and you would both make sure of it. Isn't that the way we want to treat our brothers and sisters and our fellow man? It's about forgiveness, understanding and letting go. It's about humanity. Enjoy one of my favorite skits which puts this kind of behavior in comedy perspective. The next time someone gives you the spiritual cold shoulder just close your eyes and think of Dana Carvey and laugh.
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  • Not so long ago, I studied the record in Mark 7:24-30 and Matthew 15:21-28, about the Syrophenician woman who asked Jesus to help her daughter. It was Jesus' response that really caught my attention. I took a straight-up, honest look at how I think and behave towards people - whoever they are: Christian, Way people, non-Christians - all types (Amma-style, I suppose). I reckon I have more to chuckle about these days... and there's really not so much to whinge about anymore, either. I spend more time simply enjoying the moments that I get to spend with people - sometimes nothing more than a quick grin and a nod, and sometimes hours of rich conversation that encourage and give direction. The years are too short nowadays to waste precious time on being mean and grumpy. So here's a big warm fuzzy - and a wink and a nod at no extra charge!!
    Sarah
  • I bet he would attract a lot more attention if his sign said "Free Drugs"
    smiley-laughing024.gif

    But seriously, folks. We saw so much hatefulness meanness in our world back in the day from those who called themselves committed believers or committed Way Corps. It escalated to a whole new level that you wouldn't have believed it. Some serious damage was done to people's hearts and lives all in the name of exclusivity.

    Let's spare the war stories. There are other forums for that. But thankfully a lot has changed and some reconciliations have begun to happen. But not enough yet in my opinion.
  • Great video, Carol!
    Did you know that it was filmed in the land of the cuddly wombat...and the fuzzy koala...and the leaping kangaroo (some bound up for hugs)...and the laughing kookaburra ('cos they like a good chuckle)? Aussies love big hugs!!
    Thanks... yes, you get a big hug too... :-)
    Sarah
  • Holy Kiss and Hug!
  • Forget the cold shoulder, how about a HUG? Carol I thought of you because you ended your post with "Hugs".
  • I can relate to this topic John as I was a leaver and levee with those attitudes. I got out around the POP era.When I got over it I realized that if I could not forgive or love that maybe I was just as shallow as those behaviours of the cold shoulder. Who was I to put conditions on my christian faith. Something is wrong with that picture. "Go to commercial break now". I kept in touch with some WC buddies, and we have always been the best of friends and talked about the ministry severing and just moved on. I think with the inception or should I say the availability of cyberspace it became easier to talk and feel in a lot of gaps of the unknown. And to reconnect. I reckon we all have our own journeys and a lot time has passed and yet I still that cold shouler stuff. Joe Dirt said it best " lifes a garden you gotta dig it".
  • Yeah, I dig where you're coming from, John,...feel the breeze, smell the coffee and all that...Never thought about it, but I guess a "see you at the gathering together" can be a nice way of saying "don't call us, we'll call you"...

    One thing that seems clearer to me these many days after leaving The Way International, is that one of the most intimate and private things which we possess is our personal faith...While our outward actions may be an expression of our inner faith, they can also be a means of gaining favor among a friend or friends, sans the faith...When we volunteered to be in the way corps, faith in the Bible, at least as it was taught by TWI, was a given for all of the volunteers, therefore the actions we took, or the "expressions of our faith" were often one and the same...We read Ephesians every day, we retemorized, we did "lift lists", we got aerobic points, we wore wool suits and ties, we set our knife and fork across the plate diagonally when we finished our meals...We were like-minded...

    Now, being on our own, like a rolling stone(Dylan), the program no longer dictates how we express our faith...We may choose TWI as a place to hang out or not, we may join an offshoot, a church, the flat earth society or become a deadhead...Our own faith will determine how and where we choose to spend our time...One mistake I've seen Biblical people make is synonymously interchanging "disobedience" with "lack of faith", especially when judging someone else's faith...

    Every once in a while, I think of the scene in Forrest Gump, where Forrest was running and running, evidentally because he felt like it, and soon amassed a throng of followers who were running with him...When he eventually stopped, and said he didn't feel like running anymore, somebody from the crowd muttered "now what are we supposed to do?"....I suppose we all wondered the same thing, that is, if we did leave TWI...Hopefully, it's been a good path for most of us, and if our paths bring us alongside others from the old household, ... like that old '60's poster used to say, "it's beautiful"....
  • By the way, lest anyone get the wrong idea. This behaviour goes both ways. I'll use an example. I was among those who decided to stay in The Way ministry while many others left. I was treated like crap by several friends who left. Gosh! You'd think I was the debil or sumpin.

    One long time buddy said "I can no longer communicate with you because the Word says evil associations corrupt good morals" or something like that. Geez! It's not like I was witnessing to him or anything. I have never seen or heard from him since.

    No matter which side it comes from, whether you are the "leaver" or the "leavee" it is wrong to treat someone like that in my opinion.
  • Good stuff John. Since Jesus Christ always did the will of the Father , who IS love, I think you hit the nail on the head. God is ALWAYS good and ALWAYS love. IF you think about it , as long as our adversary can talk us out of love and into treating each other in the ways you stated , he can pretty much relax because he has us doing his job for him. he truely is the most subtle beast in the field.More than any thing else, we need LOVE . After all , isn't that why we came to the Word to start with? Robert Gause
  • John - "what would Jesus do" about the spiritual cold shoulder? He showed us in John 9 (among other places) when he went and found the healed formerly blind man who was now ostracized. Keep up the good work.

    Mike
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