The Mystery In Motion, Or, Will I Go To Hell For This?

[Kevin Nye]

The Mystery In Motion,
Or,
Will I Go To Hell For This?

My favorite time in the Tenth Corps was during our first year in residence at the end of the year. As you remember, we’d all been preparing for the 8th Corps Corps weddings, and Steve Lowder and the Maintenance crew had been pumping the mud and swan crap out of the pond for like a whole week. But then, when the pumps got most of it out but there was still serious amounts of muck with about ten inches of water on top of it, we, as the “Mystery In Motion” were called upon to do the mud bucket “hand over hand” thing to get the rest of the water, muck, pond scum, and Aquilla and Priscilla crap out of there. I remember that the guys did the hand over hand thing with the buckets full, sending the buckets to the back forty behind Uncle Harry, and the gals handed the empty buckets hand over hand back to the pond. No doubt, Phyllis Solomon, Mary Dougherty, Cheri Hall, and the other tough gals in the Tenth Corps made sure to get in line with the boys with the full buckets. But everybody, it seems, did their time in the pond, slopping mud on their backs to prevent the sun, etc. I remember a few guys and gals writing “I Love God” on their backs after the mud was slathered on, and after it was washed off later in the day, the same words stood out in “sun burned pink” on their backs. I remember that it was insufferably hot, and we all worked very hard, with guys throwing crawdads, baby catfish, and baby bass at the girls, and all was lots of fun.

And then I remember at one point in the afternoon, Britt Lynn and then Phil Bonadies (those guys were like two peas in a pod), decided to change the afternoon for the better. I was working on the northern edge of the pond about half the distance from the rope swing. I remember hearing a big “who hoo!” from someone, and looking up just in time to see Britt Lynn flying through the air off the rope swing and landing in a belly flop right smack dab in the mud! And then, Phil Bonadies followed suit, and the “order of the day” quickly began to unravel! I remember Britt (at least I think it was him-coulda been somebody else) going up to Linda MacDuffy and dumping two whole handfulls of mud straight down the top of her bib overalls! Which in turn caused her to start grabbing mud and flangin it at anybody within reach! And all hell just flat out broke loose!!

Now, I remember standing on the sidelines there thinking; “Man, I don’t want to get all muddy like that. I’m just going to watch”. But then I remembered the scene in the movie “McClintock” with John Wayne where there was a huge mud fight, and I decided right then and there that I was going to jump in with both feet. And so I did. I remember throwing people in to the middle where there was still water and slop, and I particularly remember grabbing Bob Kriebel from the sidelines (he’d been cheering on the fight but staying safely “away”), and dragging him in and throwing him in the muck. And I too was thrown down a time or two, and it was great.

But then, I looked to the edge of the pond on the circle drive side and saw our own Reverend Richard Thomas standing up in the much dryer mud at the edge of the pond and throwing people in with great vigor and gusto. When I saw that, I noticed that Jay Wilson had also seen what I’d seen. So I went over to him, and we conspired to tackle Richard and give him a taste of his own medicine. We retreated way back even to downstairs doors of the “garden level” of the Wierwille Library and consulted with each other. Both of us were convinced that “Richard T” had to go down. But we were also seriously worried about tackling a “Reverend” who also happened to be our Corps Coordinator. But we came to the conclusion that; “If he could dish it out”, he shouldn’t have a problem “getting it back”. And so, Jay made up the plan. He’d played football, I had not, although I could have I think. But Jay says; “Okay Kevin we’ll run at him from behind. You hit him high, and I’ll hit him low around his legs and into the slop he goes”. And so, with a little worry on our faces, we commenced. With great alacrity of mind (great alacrity of mind?-I just like that term, although it isn’t really fitting here), we ran at him as he was yelling and jeering at people that were getting all mucked up. He seemed to be enjoying his “immunity” as well as his physical ability to throw people into the sludge! It was wrong man, just plain, wrong, and we were going to fix that...

He never knew what hit him. I flew through the air at the same time Jay did and I wrapped my arms around his arms and chest just as Jay wrapped his big ol arms around Richard T’s legs. Our momentum was serious and we drove him straight into the pond! Richard was face down in the muck as I rode on top of Richard’s back. We drove him, rode him, straight into the water, the muck, the crawdads, and the swan shit! It was beautiful man!!

And when we came to a halt, Jay and I looked at each other and grinned from ear to ear. But, just then, Richard started cussing and saying “motherfuckers” and all kinds of bad shit and stood up and wiped the mud from his eyes which showed his rage. And I was thinking; “Oh shit! I am goin to Hell after all! I just tackled The Lord’s Annointed! The wrath of God be upon me!” He looked right at me and lunged. I tried to sprint in the mud with my legs going like Fred Flintstone trying to make his car go fast, and finally started to make way and get away from Richard. But man, he was pissed! He was not going to let me get away! I made it about fifteen feet before he tackled me and slammed me face down into the water, the muck, the crawdads, and the swan shit. He had the back of my head by the hair and repeatedly slammed my face into the slop, over and over and over while he cussed me out. Then he let me go and got up.

Wiping the mud from my eyes, I could see Jay Wilson standing there in disbelief with his jaw dropped and all that mud all over him. And Richard went after Jay. And it was the same story. And Jay started trying to run in that mud with his feet slipping and flyin but really getting nowhere. (polysyndeton) Yet, Richard seemed to get traction just fine! Within seconds, Richard T had Jay by the back of his head by the hair and was systematically slamming his head in to the, you guessed it, the water, the muck, the crawdads, and the swan shit. Richard muttered something and walked back to the rim of the pond…

I don’t think Jay and I talked to each other just then, but rather, just went our way, wondering if we’d done something “wrong” by “tackling a man of God” like that. At least that was what I was thinking. I did get back into that mud fight, and thought of it as one of the best times I was to have had when I was in The Way Corps. And it was. Man youz guys, we had some fine times, didn’t we? Dammit all, it was brilliant, that mud fight! I think Britt Lynn and Phil Bonadies were walking by the spirit that day!

I also remember a few years later, once I was on more of a “peer level” with Richard T, asking him if he thought we “were out of line spiritually” for doing that, or, if he was just pissed off. And he told me flat out that he was simply pissed off and wanted to pay us back plain and simple. So, Jay and I had made the right decision after all. We nailed your ass Richard! Hah!!

[Pat (Kane) Schreiner]

Oh, thank you for sharing that story! I had heard the legend of the pond mucking, but never in so much detail.

[crae akerson]

Hey Yeah John, KEvin Happy Father's Day

[John Richeson]

Oh and happy fathers day.

[John Richeson]

Great story, Kevin. I can almost see it happening. Being a Kentucky boy raised in the country around plenty of mud and from my background I know how I would have reacted to Richards reaction. Trust me it would not have been pretty. Someone would have had to break us up before someone got hurt. You two should have stuck together in your attack. Ha, ha. Richard wouldn't have had a chance.

Richard was pretty cool. Not to be underestimated at all.

Thanks for sharing that story. I am glad I was not there. I was masterful at getting out of jobs like that.

[crae akerson]

OK Kevin. I feel better now. Also I think that I would have been one of those girls who was in the "full" bucket line.

[Kevin Nye]

But, I do want you all to know that I loved good old Richard T. I enjoyed how he ran things and didn't have a problem with his toughness. He was really funny too. But he was some what of a "brat". My wife, Shannon Walls of the 7th Corps, told me that Richard picked on her unmercifully, dumping her books like a 7th grader, and being rough on her on the outdoor basketball court when she had the cojones to play pick up ball with the boys. But just the same, she liked him and got along with him in sort of a "friendly adversarial way..."

Oh, and Crae, I really had no problem with Richard's response. I think he was just being a "guy". If he'd been abusing his "title" when doing that, and had made up some bullshit "spiritual excuse" by reproving us "spiritually", then I would say it was over the top. But as a guy myself, who has enjoyed many an impromptu wrestling match, a few bar fights, and just "guys being guys", I don't have a problem with Richard's response once I learned later that he was simply responding "like a guy..."

[Jim Chevalley]

great story....I don't "take it well" so I learned early not to give it.. sounds like Richard had it coming..

[crae akerson]

We did have fun! Many good people together who loved God and have lots of energy and commitment. I remember so many Way Production nights with coffee houses, crazy skits, talking all night and getting up to run in the AM. Fun!! I don't like to think of someone grabbing the back or someone's head and shoving their face in the muck over and over again. That sounds a bit nasty and over the top but that's only my personal opinion.