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Since reading this blog the first tine in April, a few things have been echoing back, keep tapping my noggin every now and again.
In 1989 our family moved "back" to California from Florida, and settled north of San Francisco, where we are today. One of the first things we did was visit the coast, and spent a day at the beach. Our family's always enjoyed the water, our kids seem to have inherited our love for the water and coastal experience and swim like fish having learned in Florida's warmer and calmer gulf coast water. So when we got back out here the beaches and the coastline were the first places we hit.
One of our first weekend day trips we were collecting drift wood and shells and happened on a small rock, shaped very much like a "heart", the type you'd draw. A "heart rock". We brought it home and kept it. Every time since we've always kept our eyes out for rocks shaped like that, rocks with "love in them" as I like to say. We've always found one or more, sometimes in unique shapes but when turned the right way have that shape.
For the first few years we kept them in a box and they started to accumulate, then we started putting them out around, in our yard where we'd plant new flowers. I've got a couple of aguariums now and have some in there of course. They're in potted plants, all over the place. Rather than put them in a drawer or box we just find a spot for new ones. They're not obvious but they're really all over the place now. (We were doing some cleaning last month and I found one under the car seat when I vacuumed it out and another couple in an old sweatshirt pocket).
These are "stones of remembrance", very literally. They're just rocks, and some of them aren't even that close to the actual heart shape, now when I look at them, but I can always tell one of them when I see one around the yard or whereever.
There was a little lesson we learned together in the gathering of these over the years, one that doesn't require restating but its one of those little threads that forms part of the fabric of our family's lives together, and will as we continue on. (I always get tickled when one of the kids shows up with one after they've been out to the beach. "Got one!" I love it).
Karen,
Somehow I missed this blog that you posted some time ago, but I guess in God’s divine Providence, I just came across it today, and it immediately brought to mind the title poem of a collection of poetry that I published in 2005. The title of the collection is Stone upon Stone: Psalms of Remembrance which is divided into four sections of 19 poems each with the final section being ”Stone upon Stone: A Psalm of Remembrance” which is inspired by revisiting San Antonio, TX where I had a personal encounter with the Lord Jesus Christ in a most profoundly intimate and magnificent manner and where I ultimately was introduced to the Word of God through The Way International. In the poem I reflect upon 12 stones of remembrance, milestones from my life. With these twelve stones I construct an altar upon which I offer myself as a sacrifice. The prefatory scripture for the collection is Malachi 3:16-17 which you may or may not be familiar with, but it has particular significance to the collection I published:
16 Then those who feared the LORD spoke with each other, and the LORD listened to what they said. In his presence, a scroll of remembrance[the King James says “book of remembrance”] was written to record the names of those who feared him and always thought about the honor of his name.
17 “They will be my people,” says the LORD of Heaven’s Armies. “On the day when I act in judgment, they will be my own special treasure. I will spare them as a father spares an obedient child. 18 Then you will again see the difference between the righteous and the wicked, between those who serve God and those who do not.”[New Living Testament]
I trust this piece poetry will enlighten and inspire:
Stone upon Stone: A Psalm of Remembrance
"Now, let us all go back,
back to the old landmark.”
--Traditional Black Gospel Song
Half my life ago, marveling in your glory,
I reveled in the ecstasy of your presence
and thrilled to the gentle rhapsody of your voice,
as a naked child at play in the summer rain,
drenched in the flowing of the spirit's outpouring.
Now I return to reflect upon my journey
along the path leading to this present moment.
With quicksilver memories of those turbulent years,
here in this hallowed silence I raise my praisesong:
"How I got over! How I got over, My Lord!
My soul looks back and wonders how I got over."
From twelve stones of remembrance I build an altar--
El-Beth-el--stone upon stone I build this altar.
For a foundation, laid a precious cornerstone,
tried stone of witness--the rock of my salvation,
hewn from the Savior, "more than friend or life to me."
I bring a stone engraved with her name, Brenda Joyce,
my love, the wife of my youth in whom I rejoice;
white topaz, the symbol of my pure love for you.
A stone engraved with another name "Melissa,
Melissa, Belissima", a new day dawning;
my firstborn joy, my sweet, a birthday gift for me.
A lively stone with another name, Angela,
"Si, Mi Angelita es muy bonita."
burst forth on the scene the day before Pentecost.
Stone upon stone--El-Beth-el--I build this altar.
A stone with jagged edges I hold in my hand:
disappointments and stillborn dreams lie at my feet,
wet with red, splattered with blood of miscarried sons.
I bring a piece of onyx, black stone of mourning,
wrenched from the valley of the shadow of death,
this dark marker of man's appointment once to die.
I rise to find a precious stone, a star sapphire,
symbol of healing and wholeness for my family,
to remind me of Jehovah Rapha's promise.
Cameos carved with the touch of the Master’s hand,
Jasper-clear, on backgrounds of God’s abundant grace,
Reflect countless blessings and promises to come.
Stone upon stone I build this altar--El-Beth-el.
Gathered from quarries of African origins,
gemstones for my parents and unknown ancestors,
all those who ". . .sang a race from wood and stone to Christ."
I offer a ruby, priceless gem of passion,
my zest for life, blessed to explore varied careers--
wordsmith and pharmacist and teacher of God’s Word.
Another precious stone--amethyst remembrance—
whispered words, beckoning to a higher calling,
a whetstone to sharpen the tool to pierce my ear.
Final stone of hope, capstone to complete my life,
standing on tip-toe, awaiting the golden note,
blessed hope of Christ's appearing in my lifetime.
El--stone upon stone--Bethel--I build this altar.
In the center of this altar burns fire, white-hot
as the cloven tongues appearing at Pentecost,
a flaming fire, refueled by the oil of blessing,
this unction, anointing, ignited by the spark,
tabernacled in me twenty-six years ago;
consuming desire, empowered by the spirit,
seeking to forge with words, this joy unspeakable.
Enflamed with a new name and transformed to offer
all I am and all I ever hope to become,
a living sacrifice, wholly acceptable,
a lively stone, known, read by all with eyes to see.
So I return to teach the meaning of these stones.
El--stone upon stone I build this altar--Beth-el
San Antonio, TX
June 17, 1993
In 1984 I was newly married and went for a routine pap smear. It came back with class 1 dysplasia so they did another one a month later. That came back with class 4 dysplasia, class 5 is active cancer. So they did an emergency cone biopsy, which is both therapeutic and diagnostic.
When I was going under anesthesia I had a mind-video of me and a little girl playing in a meadow with Jesus and picking flowers. It was great!
When the pathology report came back, the surgeon told us the bad cells had "arrested themselves" but there was glandular involvement so they cut those dead cells out with the glands. Surgically I was unable to have children. I thought it was bunk because I had the mind-video, I figured God had other plans.
When we decided to have children, I got pregnant within a month. That was in 1986, a little more than a year from the time of the surgery. We had a beautiful healthy baby girl in 1987!
Praise God!
John 10:10
The thief cometh not, but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy: I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly.
He pointed out to me that this was Jesus Christ speaking. Jesus Christ was the one that said ‘I am come that you might have life and that you might have it more abundantly’. He asked me if I thought that Jesus Christ had really come. I did believe that Jesus Christ had come. I just did not understand much about it. He said look at what the verse says, “He came so that you might have life and that you might have it more abundantly.” That day as a young man that was struggling through life, I didn’t have power. I was not living anything that was even close to a more than abundant life. This man started teaching me God’s Word right from this verse. He just kept pointing it out to me. He kept saying, “Wouldn’t you like to have an abundant life? And I would say, “Yes I would.” He said, “That is not what the Word says. The Word says a more abundant life.” Jesus Christ came so that I could have life and have it not just abundantly but more abundantly. This verse in the Bible changed my life as he was explaining it to me that day. It started me on a quest. It started me on an adventure that I am still on today, to learn how to tap in to the more abundant life that Jesus Christ was talking about. I wanted to learn how to read the Bible for myself, so that I could know God and have a personal relationship with God as my father. I think that this kind of experience has happened to all of us. A burning desire to know God, and then Later to Love God.
Steve
When I was a child I had to walk to school up a long hill. I panted in thirst every morning at the top of that hill. I would rest outside the Temple leaning on a tree there and continue on to school. One morning God told me to get water at the tree. I found a small pool of water collected in a basin formed by the roots of the tree. He said to breath in quickly directly over it and my thirst would be quenched. Every time I did this, I was no longer thirsty. :) Thank you, God!